What is Poor?

Or 'Money! Its a Crime!', according to Kathleen

Anyone familiar with our family knows the details of the child support order we're fighting. Here's a little back story to catch you up:

John has a son he's never met. Until 4 years ago, he wasn't paying child support for this son. Once he got wind of the child support order, he was already in arrears for more than $80,000. I'll give you a few minutes to finish choking on your beverage of choice.

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Better? Okay, then. They immediately started garnishing his wages - by 50%. So, we technically have half of his income to live on, but none of the state programs (food stamps, medical, rental assistance) recognize this. So, financially, we're scraping by every month. Barely, and not without help from both sides of our families, but we're managing.

Why, then, you may ask, do you have a website? Doesn't that cost money?

The answer is yes, it does. But therapy costs more.

But all of that is neither here nor there. The question at hand is "What is poor?"

My definition of 'poor' is not having enough.

I don't feel poor. Technically, we certainly are. Actually, technically, we may be impoverished or worse by now. But we don't feel poor. We have a roof over our heads, we have enough food to eat (no more than enough, but enough - I've lost 15 pounds so far). We have books and toys and clothes for ourselves, and we have a family friend who is willing to drive us to the store when we need to go, or to John's parents' house when its convenient for all.

I've been poor, though, most of my life, so maybe I'm immune to the feelings it engenders? Or maybe I've just managed to stumble on the anti-poor? That mindset that allows me to continually see that what I have is enough to be happy. I like to think that my upbringing, and the circumstances I lived in gave me the strength of character to be able to do without when I need to. Sometimes I do without because Keslyn would benefit more from having whatever it is, sometimes I do without because I know John would give me what I wanted - even if he (or the whole family) suffered for it later. And sometimes I just choose to do without because, at this point in my life, there really isn't a whole lot that I need that I don't already have.

I certainly don't have many physical possessions... But I can get by with next to nothing. The only thing I feel a lack of is books, because reading is a big part of my life. Even that, though, is compensated for - John's parents are also avid readers and have no problem tossing books our way when they've finished them. And I must say, they do have an interesting selection of books. I'm exposed to things I never would have reached for on my own (namely the Janet Evanovich books that I've fallen in love with).

So. What is poor? Who is poor? Who's to say. I know members of John's family and members of my own family consider us to be poor. So, for them, in the unlikely event that they should read this... We don't feel poor. We have enough. And, unlike most of America, enough really is enough for us.